Sometimes home is a vague notion of comfort far from where we are sitting today.
Almost like a black and white episode of the Andy Griffith Show, everyone is happy. Neighbors know and care for each other. Every family has a job. The schools are good and the teachers are caring. And they all meet at the annual Forth of July picnic as good friends.
The Relocation Reality
Moving around the country and around the world side steps our feeling at home all together. Between getting the right vaccinations for school enrollment and being under financial pressure with only one job now, feeling at home and the energy to find it is not even on the radar.
The nostalgic TV shows short-changed us when they defined what home is. They presented us with a simplified, one size fits all version of what we “should” want. This narrow definition is definitely a fairy tale. It is pretty to look at and imagine, but not reality.
Home is so much more than black and white.
If everything were truly black and white it would be boring and bland. And we relocation families are anything but boring and bland.
By taking on a relocation we have proven ourselves to be adventurers. People of hope who are willing to reach forward into the unknown while believing it will be good for us. That is not black and white.
Redefine our notion of home
Knowing we are technicolor requires us to redefine our notion of home. The experiences that we have. The places we get to live. The people we get to meet. All of this has an impact on what we want our lives to look like as well as the refuge we create to recharge, feel safe and spring from back into the world.
This definition for a relocation family though is too narrow. Since the address and town change their home then relinquishes its boarders and becomes something more.
Home is Who we ARE
After all these moves and all of the cultures I have traversed, being comfortable where I am becomes less and less dependent on the where and more dependent on the who.
Am I being who I am actually am?
Are my kids being who they are are?
Are we living our core values in how we treat others, depend on each other and create our future?
Living Your Core Values
Core values is a central theme to much of my relocation writing. This is because living or rejecting our core values determines our comfort in where we land and therefore affects our happiness or contentment. Whether or not we live our core values also determines our ability to recharge and face another day of uncertainty especially early in a relocation.
Take time to slow down and learn about who you are and that will define home to you. The things you keep around your. The activities you participate in and the friends you choose to take on.
My favorite resources are:
The Path by Laurie Beth Jones
The 4 Elements of Success by Laurie Beth Jones
Start with Why by Simon Sinek
Chances are you are already creating the home you want to live in. When we live outside of our core values and mission the conflict within us demands resolution. The closer you pay attention, the faster it resolves. By defining it in your terms and words, it makes your home portable both practically and in your mind.
Home is so much more than the 4 walls we lay our heads down in. It has all ways been that way.
And now you know.
Annette Walters is a new empty nest ReloMom with 13 moves under her belt who is just about ready for her next adventure.