Arriving Relocation Week One

Relocation Arrival Week

Arriving in the new community excites even the calmest of people.  Everything is new and there is so much possibility in the air.  Anything could happen.  And at this point everything we are thinking about it is good.

Excitement and Optimism is the best way to start this week because this first week in the new community is filled with more decisions than you have ever made before.  Each day is filled with new ideas and information.  More than one person can adequately take in a single day.  There are things that miss expectations and people who don’t do what they said they would do.

But that is OK.  This week is about possibility and the opportunity to create a life desired.

After finalizing the home, either a lease or closing on a home, it is time to wait on the moving trucks and people.  A puzzle comes together as the boxes and furniture arrives.  Like a game of Tetris each piece from sofa to ladle find a place in the home.  Constant questions, “where will this fit” and “how could this be most useful”, float in the air as the home comes together.  Not everything is perfect, but that is to be expected and deemed OK.

Next comes the 1st week’s tools and organizations that need to be discovered, turned on and sourced; city services, schools, hardware stores, take out restaurants, parks, grocery stores and everything else that makes a life run regular on a daily basis.  Knowing when trash and recycle pick up is, is imperative as the boxes are emptied. 

As the boxes are unpacked and the community is explored, for all of those things lost or misplaced in the moment, we begin to see the community.  These practical outings into the community provide an easy way to meet people and ask questions.  If New York pizza brings a sense of calm to the family, the checker at the hardware store may know.

One of the best referrals I got early on was for a chiropractor.  Heaven knows after moving all of those boxes of dishes, all of us needed an adjustment.  The referral came from someone who had an ongoing knee problem.  She swore the Chiropractor would fix us up.  After 5 years of seeing him regularly, I trusted that he was the real deal.  Now after 11 years here in the Mid-Cities, Dr. Chatfield is still our go to Chiropractor.

The Hardest Thing

By the end of the 1st week you will recognize the hardest thing of relocation.  After daily physical activity and making hundreds of decisions a day for a week, mental and physical exhaustion/overwhelm will set in.  This is sneaky. Because after making so many decisions and being so effective all week, it seems like the new found super power will never end.

But this super power only lasts so long.

As the mental and physical exhaustion sets in, deciding where the random fork goes becomes the hardest thing.  You question yourself repeatedly, “WHY IS THIS SO HARD?? LOOK AT ALL I HAVE DONE!!”  Overwhelm takes over.

Loosing patience with ourselves.  Questioning ourselves.  Judging our abilities or lack there of can send even the toughest most stoic ReloMoms down a spiral of despair.

This is the point at which we begin to question everything.  Perhaps even our sanity.

Know that this is “NORMALE”

The Italian version of normal just sounds better.  Even calming.

Click on this link to hear it- “normale.”
I love how he says “normale”

This is Normal.  I want you to know and believe this before you have landed in the middle of it.  Understanding that this is normal, allows us to recognize the early symptoms.  Perhaps inoculating us against a full exhausted exhaustion overwhelm infection.

Expecting, Pausing, Preventing

By being on the look out for exhaustion and overwhelm, we can prevent a full infection, before it takes root in our brains.  If not we will:

    • Run out of physical energy,
    • Run out of mental energy and
    • Run out of decision-making ability,

Expect…

In the first week, believing this, gives all of us all a reasonable pass on the self-judgement and criticism that complicates the situation.  When relocation decisions are pending, thinking that we are stupid and incapable, slows us down.

Relocation tasks have to be done.  We do not need to be slowed down by our own thinking.

Now Pause…

The pause allows acknowledgement of the current state.  That acknowledgement provides space to take a breath.  To make room in an hour or a day.  To choose to recharge with something that feeds us mentally and physically.

And Prevent…

Relocation is a never ending flow of activity, new information and series of decisions.  Life is not business as usual. Even though we know how to put together a home…even though we know how to register kids for school…even though we know how to make dinner…doesn’t mean it is easy or we are able to do any of these things during the first seven day after move-in day.

Plan time for you to be you.  Do something normale, have your kind of fun and prevent The Hardest Thing.

Relocation is a whole life adventure, memorable and life/career expanding for everyone. 

A well crafted relocation plan takes you from the initial decision through logistics to creating home. 

Set up your FREE 30 minute ReloMoms strategy appointment today!

Begin your journey by emailing us at ReloMoms@gmail.com to set up your video call.

Let’s make your relocation amazing.

For all coaching information https://relomoms.com/relocation-coaching/

Feed Your Passion

Butterfly Evolution Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

Feeding your Passions after relocation can feel impossible.  Your passion is part of a group or activity, a thousand miles away and the local area doesn’t have that type of group or activity anywhere near by.  Everything is different and without your group it is now impossible to feed your passion for  “______” like you used to.

The challenges are real and the circumstances are set.  It may seem dire or even impossible to jump
back in but there are a few ways to do that, with a few new thoughts and some
creative thinking.

Feed Your Passion through Support

The monthly meeting are not possible, nor is hitting the
road with the running club or reading to kids at school.  But there is participation beyond physically
being there.

These groups of people and their activities can always be
supported in other ways.  Most of these
groups depend on getting the word out about who they are and how to participate.  Your passion for the group and what they do
is invaluable.

Consider active Facebook or Social Media participation.  Your posts about the group drive traffic as well as provides a real opinion about the group and what they do.  Other posts can include safety tips that apply to the activity,  i.e. stretching for runners or injury prevention.  Also think about posting about why you joined and how it served your passion.  This will help others looking to feed a shared passion to consider this group.

In addition, the active Facebook participation is connection with your friends in the previous group is that it provide things to talk about and strategize on.  A reason to call and chat.

Feed Your Passion through Skills Development

Just about everything we can think to do requires skills and
practice.  Even an Olympic Runner is
constantly striving to improve.  Learning
about nutrition, mental focus hacks or technical tweaks to enhance performance
there is always something to learn.

If you have found yourself in a place without a way to feed
your passion through an existing group or place it is time to change the attention
to enhancing skills development.

Consider creating a Passion project that begins with research and ends with being an expert.  An expert who knows every aspect of the subject that support a personal passion. 

Back to the running example, have your considered lately how to improve on your performance from an equipment standpoint.  What is the latest in shoe technology?  What is the most accurate distance terrain tracking device?  How is a cold and snowy day conquered?

Striving to become an expert opens up your mind to the world beyond what the original passion experience and boundaries.  The additional knowledge will provide new ways and topics to connect with others you meet in your new community.

Feed your Passion through Activity

We all know the local running club isn’t going to come knock
on the door one morning and ask you if you want to come run with them.  Joining a local club take getting out into the
community and doing it, sometimes alone at first.  Doing what you love, your passion, is what
feeds your passion and ultimately being in the community doing and talking
about it then connects you with others in the new community. 

Finding my passion project people

For example, I am working on a passion project to promote a local charity that works to teach personal character values (honesty, discipline, respect, kindness, etc.) through a full time in school Karate program, Kickstart Kids.  My network upon starting this few weeks ago was cold.  In addition, I do not live in the school districts where Kickstart Kids is located.  I needed to get connected in order to find those interested in going to the benefit.

My solution was to visit over 35 networking and Chamber of
Commerce meetings over 4 and a half weeks. 
This was tough to do especially in the towns where the program was
located.  But all of that changed as I
attended meetings that were listed on internet.

As a result, I met people at each meeting that would say, “you should attend this networking meeting tomorrow or next week.” 

The only meeting I could find for a city would then turn into 3 or 4 other meetings.  As a result during that first week, I found and was invited to enough meeting that I met my 35 meeting goal.  During these first few weeks I have talked to at least a hundred people now.

The Bonus

After that, a funny thing happened.  I started to connect and began connecting people to each other.  Not only did I find people who were interested in my story, but as I listened to theirs I was able to help them out by connecting people to each other.

In the first couple of weeks I have had the chance to feed
my passion for Kickstart Kids by telling the story, but more importantly I have
found a number of connections that share my passion for improving the lives of
inner city and at risk kids.  I have
begun to build a passion based group I never expected to find.

Cast a Wide Net

Consider attending any of your local meetings whether garden club, chamber of commerce or PTA.  Work to meet as many people as possible and get connected either via social media or with an old fashioned phone number. 

When asked what you do, use this as an opportunity to talk about the recent relocation and your passion.  A relocation, even a year old, is an instant conversation starter for most of the people you will meet.  Most will take an interest in your passion whether or not they have the same passion, and consequently will even find a new connection for you, either a group or a person.

The point is to meet as many people as possible and cast a wide net.

Next, especially if there is no existing group, consider starting up your own group.  In the age of city mom groups, the internet and social media getting the word out get easier every year.  And after attending the local meetings you will have a number of contacts who will be willing to share your new group personally with who they know.

Feed your Passion beyond the Four Walls

We can go for a run by ourselves.  We can foster dogs on our own.  We can paint by ourselves at a local park. We can…but we need community.

By sharing and living our passions with others, this is what feeds our passions most fully.

Life starts out with only the core family in the first few relocation weeks. However, to start living our lives, as we want to, we need to live our passions, expand what we know, support the people from our previous community as well as find the new people who share our passion where we are now.

This is how we all feed our passion and build our new sense of community.

Annette Walters is an empty nester who has relocated 13 times with 2 years as an EXPAT. She shares her life with her talented husband and sweet Coco the dog with whom she is always looking share the next adventure in the Wilds of Texas and far, far beyond.

For other ideas on connecting see my blog “Connecting after Relocation