3 Secret Benefits of Relocation

3 Secret Benefits of Relocation

Want to know the 3 secrets of relocation?  The ones few talk about?  In relocation, there are so many things we do not talk about.  Perhaps it’s because we are powering our way through each day.  We dodge, jab and dance our way through each day hoping to get it all right.

We experience the benefits…but I don’t think we remember, or realize how those benefits that come our way.

This makes relocation like a secret club.  There are rituals and experiences we ReloMoms have, but we do not typically share them with anyone else.  It is as if we must keep them secret from the rest of the world.  However, when we do stop to share them, we encourage others to choose this relocation adventure and be better prepared for the dance.

Through relocation, we connect to people we never would have known.  We learn more about the world and people, even when relocating within the same country.  We discover how to be new and take advantage of everything “new” in front of us.

We typically choose a corporate relocation because of career advancement or financial incentives, but there is so much more to relocation.

Last week I polled LinkedIn to see what people viewed as benefits.  Their choices were career advancement, an adventure, family connection, educational opportunities and cultural experiences.  One of the comments included how what we needed or what we focused on, dictated what we would view as a benefit.  This is so true.  Some we readily see, while others we barely notice.

So, what are some of those hidden relocation benefits? Today I am going to let you in on THREE of the benefits.  Those rarely talked about, but widely experienced by everyone in the family.

Learn how to take a chance

All of us no matter our personality style, introvert or extrovert, learn how to take a chance through relocation. We must once the decision to relocate is made.  Everything is new.  Everyone is new.

With this decision we extend trust to people, processes and groups where we may not have chosen to do so before relocation.  For some of us buying a car requires months of research for quality, current market pricing and negotiation tactics for specific dealerships.  In relocation we do not have this kind of time to build a knowledge base and justify trust.

We typically have only days or hours to make major decision. Through relocation we become incredibly good at assessing risk quickly, in ways that are focused in on who we are and what we need. 

We may know exactly what we want to know but with the short time frame we quickly and clearly identify the most important criteria.  We then take a calculated chance on the rest of what could be known.

Through trial and some error we establish how to take a chance in our way, especially with short time frames and less information than we might like.

Career enhancement

Because relocation acceptance is typically driven by a career or financial incentive, the entirety of career enhancement is overlooked as a benefit  for both the relocated employee and the trailing spouse.

Relocation is not something most people decide to accept.  This might be because of local extended family needs, the spouse’s career/job or any number of reasons.  Because of this, accepting a relocation is like becoming a unicorn. There are rumors that people like you exist, but most people haven’t met them. 

Both the relocated employee and spouse who re-establishes employment in the new community, will be part of companies and team that are populated by primarily locals.  These co-workers often view transferred employees and career spouses, as risk takers – people who are there to make things happen. The bonus to the transferred employee is that they are viewed many times as more loyal to the company because they were willing to move for the company need. 

Take advantage of it and keep it on the resume.  It is not insignificant and will be rewarded throughout a career.  It is an achievement like an Eagle Scout award.  Once achieved, it demonstrates personal character.

Family Connection

Family connectedness is the most important relocation benefit, for me personally.  My family connects in a way few other families connect.  And I believe we do because of relocation.  As a kid my family moved across the country multiple times.  Even as adults now we still work to be together in the same communities.  Why?  Because we like each other.  We depend on each other.  We always show up for each other.

The strange thing is, that all of us are fiercely independent. The lessons we learned during those core family relocation is why we have stayed close all these years, both between my sister and I, and as family with our parents.

For my sister and I, each time we moved all we had was each other.  For the first few months after each relocation, my sister was my playmate, my only friend and the one who would listen to me.  She was the only one who understood how hard relocating could be.  Walking through each relocation together formed a strong formidable bond.  No matter what, we always chose dedication and commitment to each other.  To this day even with families of our own, we remain close.  So much so, that we have chosen to relocate to the same city once again.

Our parents chose this as well.  After our families moved back to Texas, they moved here a few years later.  Why?  We have always been together, for over 50 years.  We are not bound by a location.  We are bound to each other, by experience and by choice.

This is not unique to my family.  As I meet more and more relocated and EXPAT families, the story is the same.  Even when the kids become independent adults, their core families remain a constant in their lives.  Both working to be in the same city and from a distance, family connect for life.  Not bound by a place, but bound by shared experience and connection.

BONUS BENEFIT: Peacemakers

A new benefit was revealed recently to me when I attended a Rotary club meeting with my father.  He had been a member for years and occasionally I would attend a meeting with him.  At this luncheon, they had invited a Youth Exchange representative to make a presentation about their high school student exchange program.

In this high school exchange program, kids would choose another country to live in for a school year.  They could go to any country that had Rotary clubs.  During that year they would live with a Rotary family, go to school in that country and attend weekly Rotary club meetings with the Rotary Club family member.

During the program, I learned the primary reason Rotary began and sustained this program for high school students.  Rotary believes that anyone who has lived outside of their home country, gains a larger world perspective, and with that, gains the ability to be the peacemakers of tomorrow.

As I looked back on all of my relocations, I saw this to be true.  When one person was hammering a single point or a single side of an argument, I wanted to know the other side. As I thought about this more, I realized that this belief “that there was more to know than what was right in front of me” was due to the fact that I had met so many people and learned to live so many different places.

I doubt that I will be a world peacemaker, but I have that ability to pause and consider there may be more to the story than just this.  A pause to consider, what else is there?

When we learn to ask could there me more, we keep our minds open to possibility and gain the ability to see options that others do not.  To be peacemakers, in our corner of the world.

Remember. Write it down!

Write it down.  We all forget.

Until you walk through relocation it is hard to understand.  I think this is why, we as ReloMoms, do not talk about it much.  As we are enrolling our kids in school or we are meeting people in the community, we do not find too many who actually understand where we are coming from.  This relocation perspective.

The second reason we forget is because the plethora of relocation tasks do not end for months. When we get what we expect or want, rarely do we slow to celebrate it or even share it with others.  It becomes yet another check mark, one of many we are working to check off every day. 

Probably never to be thought of again.

As ReloMoms in control and responsible for resetting life, the challenges and fails are what get the most discussion and air time especially in our own heads.  Self judgement, second guessing and doubt reigns as we record each challenge or fail as proof we can’t do this.

This is why we must write down our wins. We have far more wins than we do fails.  The proof is in the relocation itself.  Look at all that was realized and created so far.  Those are wins and just as important as anything else.  Use your wins to build your confidence and shore yourself up to prove you can handle the next challenge.

We need to be reminded that we are capable.  We are strong.  We know what we are doing.  The journal will help you remember what went right!  Lots of things go right.  Reading what you have written will lift you out of the challenges more quickly.

You have the proof in your hands.  Write the wins down on paper and use the proof to keep moving forward.

My passion is to help you relocate well from packing to connecting!

Have a wonderful week and come join us in the
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Remember that Relocating Well is done best, Together!

Your ReloMoms Friend – Annette

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NEXT ReloMoms Blog to explore:
FEED YOUR PASSION

Packing up and Too Much Stuff

(c) Artistashmita | Dreamstime.com

Today I received my daily dose of happiness from author Gretchen Rubin.  In it she included this quote:

“Yet occasionally we discover in the folds of an old handkerchief a shell or insignificant stone that had once embodied our happiest of afternoons.” — Patti Smith, Just Kids

Moment of Happiness: June 25, 2020 https://gretchenrubin.com/

As we go through our things in the process of moving houses, we find these things and remember the joy associated with them.
Our first inclination is to hold on to these things, tucking them away for another dose of joy on a random future day when “found” again.

I suggest you explore Marie Kondo‘s approach to such things.  When found and joy remembered, thank the item for the the joy received, as well as the memory of the season or person remembered.  Then take a picture of it if you would like, and release the item to the world for someone else to find and create a blessing of their own.

Whether providing joy or pure utility to the next person, you will be passing along a blessing that you no longer need.

As you release what you do not need, think forward to the blessing on others as well as the space you are creating for you and your family both for needed items but also space to create fun and a place of opportunity for what you build next.

I hope this idea is a blessing to you! Annette

Arriving Relocation Week One

Relocation Arrival Week

Arriving in the new community excites even the calmest of people.  Everything is new and there is so much possibility in the air.  Anything could happen.  And at this point everything we are thinking about it is good.

Excitement and Optimism is the best way to start this week because this first week in the new community is filled with more decisions than you have ever made before.  Each day is filled with new ideas and information.  More than one person can adequately take in a single day.  There are things that miss expectations and people who don’t do what they said they would do.

But that is OK.  This week is about possibility and the opportunity to create a life desired.

After finalizing the home, either a lease or closing on a home, it is time to wait on the moving trucks and people.  A puzzle comes together as the boxes and furniture arrives.  Like a game of Tetris each piece from sofa to ladle find a place in the home.  Constant questions, “where will this fit” and “how could this be most useful”, float in the air as the home comes together.  Not everything is perfect, but that is to be expected and deemed OK.

Next comes the 1st week’s tools and organizations that need to be discovered, turned on and sourced; city services, schools, hardware stores, take out restaurants, parks, grocery stores and everything else that makes a life run regular on a daily basis.  Knowing when trash and recycle pick up is, is imperative as the boxes are emptied. 

As the boxes are unpacked and the community is explored, for all of those things lost or misplaced in the moment, we begin to see the community.  These practical outings into the community provide an easy way to meet people and ask questions.  If New York pizza brings a sense of calm to the family, the checker at the hardware store may know.

One of the best referrals I got early on was for a chiropractor.  Heaven knows after moving all of those boxes of dishes, all of us needed an adjustment.  The referral came from someone who had an ongoing knee problem.  She swore the Chiropractor would fix us up.  After 5 years of seeing him regularly, I trusted that he was the real deal.  Now after 11 years here in the Mid-Cities, Dr. Chatfield is still our go to Chiropractor.

The Hardest Thing

By the end of the 1st week you will recognize the hardest thing of relocation.  After daily physical activity and making hundreds of decisions a day for a week, mental and physical exhaustion/overwhelm will set in.  This is sneaky. Because after making so many decisions and being so effective all week, it seems like the new found super power will never end.

But this super power only lasts so long.

As the mental and physical exhaustion sets in, deciding where the random fork goes becomes the hardest thing.  You question yourself repeatedly, “WHY IS THIS SO HARD?? LOOK AT ALL I HAVE DONE!!”  Overwhelm takes over.

Loosing patience with ourselves.  Questioning ourselves.  Judging our abilities or lack there of can send even the toughest most stoic ReloMoms down a spiral of despair.

This is the point at which we begin to question everything.  Perhaps even our sanity.

Know that this is “NORMALE”

The Italian version of normal just sounds better.  Even calming.

Click on this link to hear it- “normale.”
I love how he says “normale”

This is Normal.  I want you to know and believe this before you have landed in the middle of it.  Understanding that this is normal, allows us to recognize the early symptoms.  Perhaps inoculating us against a full exhausted exhaustion overwhelm infection.

Expecting, Pausing, Preventing

By being on the look out for exhaustion and overwhelm, we can prevent a full infection, before it takes root in our brains.  If not we will:

    • Run out of physical energy,
    • Run out of mental energy and
    • Run out of decision-making ability,

Expect…

In the first week, believing this, gives all of us all a reasonable pass on the self-judgement and criticism that complicates the situation.  When relocation decisions are pending, thinking that we are stupid and incapable, slows us down.

Relocation tasks have to be done.  We do not need to be slowed down by our own thinking.

Now Pause…

The pause allows acknowledgement of the current state.  That acknowledgement provides space to take a breath.  To make room in an hour or a day.  To choose to recharge with something that feeds us mentally and physically.

And Prevent…

Relocation is a never ending flow of activity, new information and series of decisions.  Life is not business as usual. Even though we know how to put together a home…even though we know how to register kids for school…even though we know how to make dinner…doesn’t mean it is easy or we are able to do any of these things during the first seven day after move-in day.

Plan time for you to be you.  Do something normale, have your kind of fun and prevent The Hardest Thing.

Relocation is a whole life adventure, memorable and life/career expanding for everyone. 

A well crafted relocation plan takes you from the initial decision through logistics to creating home. 

Set up your FREE 30 minute ReloMoms strategy appointment today!

Begin your journey by emailing us at ReloMoms@gmail.com to set up your video call.

Let’s make your relocation amazing.

For all coaching information https://relomoms.com/relocation-coaching/