#1 Problem in Relocation
The #1 problem in relocation affects every facet of relocation. Who we hire, the school choice, timing, overcoming surprises, our emotional state and the quality of our decisions.
There is not one part of relocation this problem cannot derail.
Ultimately, when running amuck and unsupervised, this problem drives the frustration and overwhelm associated with relocation and can lead to shutdown. Whether that is 10 minutes or a few days, shutting down the relocation is the last thing anyone wants especially in the first 2 or 3 months when hundreds of decisions are being made daily.
Even when we are not overcome with frustration, this problem leads to poor decision making. Enough poor decision and the success of the relocation is at risk.
So what is the #1 Problem in Relocation?
Well, Us – You and me.
Keeping You Safe
Not all of who we are, but definitely a part of us. The part that is trying to keep us “safe”. A part of every human that works to keep us safe. Our primitive Brains.
Because relocation wipes away just about everything we know and can expect, our brains are in a constant state of awareness, looking out for the proverbial saber tooth tiger. After a while it becomes exhausted and everything unknown looks like danger and feeling of fear is triggered. It then jumps on that feeling a proof that we are in danger and we need to rethink everything.
Our brains are doing they are supposed to be doing. What they have evolved to do. The problem is that it is stuck in the primitive knee jerk reactionary mode and hasn’t caught up to the 21st Century. It is typically unsupervised and believes after a while that everything is dangerous, thus driving a feeling of overwhelm which shuts us down. Shut down we are safe in the cave.
It does not know that we have another part of the brain, our prefrontal cortex that is capable of assessing risk and choosing something unknown. When we are under stress that primitive brain works to seize control. It is constantly at the ready to initiate fight or flight. Again to keep us safe.
Know that when this happens nothing has gone wrong. It is at these moments when we realize the primitive brain has taken control, that we can engage our thinking brain, pause and choose whether or not that direction serves us and our relocation.
Mind chatter. You know what I talking about, the voice or voices in our heads. Mine like to question what I am doing. When it is really cranked up it like to pull out past fails and shames me. It is a cycle that sucks me in.
When this happens, those thoughts are really all I can see. I get consumed by the chatter.
Ironically this chatter, is something I created in my own brain. I am indulging it. Allowing it to stay.
Creating, Indulging and Allowing. Active engagement of these three things which lead to nowhere, except right where I am at. I am stuck! Ruminating and believing all of them to be true.
Mind chatter leads to distraction, a narrow vision of the world and overall poor decision making.
How can you make a good decision about THIS,
when the mind is consumed by that over THERE??
We cannot, when we are consumed and believe the mind chatter is truth.
Thoughts are not Truth
Just because you think it, does not make it true. Thoughts are not Truth. Thoughts are sentences in the brain. Concepts, memories, fantasy, other people’s statements & opinions. Realizing that thought are not truth is a new concept for many people. Most of us humans believe that if we think it must be true. We wouldn’t lie to ourselves, would we?
It is not that we are lying to ourselves, but many of us have never questioned the validity of our thoughts. We have accepted what others have taught us and what we surmise blindly. We move forward, and have moved forward through our lives, believing what we think in our brains is truth.
These unchecked thoughts narrow our field of vision. We do see the available options. We do not choose to create a better options for ourselves because we already know the truth. Everything else is now unnecessary.
And therefore, not true.
Unquestioned thoughts harm us because we hold on to them without question. Our brains do this to ground us in the midst of the unknown. But this graspy-ness, does not allow us to see what is in front of us and limits our ability to make the best decisions.
By realizing thoughts are not truth we open ourselves to seeing everything and finding the truth that serves us.
So NOW What???
Now you know: your brain is doing its job. It is trying to keep you safe, there is no need to further judge yourself for having negative thoughts or question about the relocation. When the brain says, “I don’t think we should have done this”, that is the time to take a look at that statement and get curious.
If your brain is just trying to keep you safe then what? It is time to pause and look at this current situation from the context of keeping you safe. How does that change the perspective?
The mind chatter is part of your brain’s automatic thinking. Knee jerk reaction thinking that it has done for years. Realizing that habitual nature allows those thoughts to be seen, brought into the light and evaluated.
It allows questioning: Is this serving me and getting us through to a successful relocation OR is all of this causing distraction and narrowing vision of what could be?
Finally, you know that just because you think it doesn’t make it TRUE. This is huge. That knee jerk reaction think, the automatic thoughts that percolate up are not necessarily true.
Relocation is an amazing time to really pull these thoughts out onto paper and decide, is this true? True for me, this situation, our family? We take on so much from other people and sources, taking these and a deciding if they are true refines our whole lives. We create and then live the life we want to live!
To uncover some of these more stealthy thoughts, come join me for a free coaching session. It is one hour well spent and you will have a tool to continue finding these thoughts on your own.
The #1 Problem in Relocation and the Solution
The number ONE Problem in Relocation is also the Solution. YOU!
We are the only mammals that can choose what we think.
The great thing about this is that it means you have complete control over the solution. A solution that can lead to desired results. Learning and experiencing this in my life led me to become a Whole Life Relocation Coach. Once I realized, that I already had the power to create a life I wanted to live, I wanted to learn more so that I could share and teach this to you.
You have the power within you. Continue following ReloMoms and you can experience it within yourself. On Thursdayon the ReloMoms Podcast I talk about how to walk through situations both positive and negative using this new found power.
To sign up for your One Hour Relocation Coaching CLICK HERE! I look forward to meeting you and teaching you tools you can use today.
See you here next week!
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